I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. He had skeletons in his closet. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. A. Because he was dribbling. 4. Q. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Nobel who? The bathroom is over there on your left. 'Cause the Pee is silent. Me: We just passed a rest stop too Why did the toilet roll down the hill? She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. You blow me away. 80. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Keegan come here. He couldnt budget. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Haha, you just said poo-poo! Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! I come again and pee twice. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. We dont judge them. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. He didnt want to go. The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. Love sharing with your friends and family? Q. In the baaa-throom. A. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? What do you call a cheap circumsision? 83. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. Dr. Dre. What does superman call his toilet? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Constipation is a difficult word to say. 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. Q. What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? Constipation Jokes and Proctologist
Puns, Porta
Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly
Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns,
Crappy Jokes. Q. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Because it's afraid of #2! A urinarrator. So mind your pees in queues. 77. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Keep it flush with the wall. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? Q. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. A cab. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. A receding hare line. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Use these one liners at your own risk. 2. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. 4. I think it was a dandy lion. The Times are rough. 1. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Q. Because it was stuck in a crack. An arm and a leg. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Knock, knock. 1. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. He worked it out with a pencil. 1. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. 6. 21. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. The Superbowl! I hate spelling errors. A
guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Whats Irish and stays out all night? They both hope to make it home. See you in the Email! Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Q. So brunettes can remember them. What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made
at various resolutions? Because he was looking for Pooh! Please sign up with your best email address. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. 88. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. A. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. 4. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. There will be more jokes to come. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a
solid #2. A. MyCocksaFloppin. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? 53. It leaked so they had to release it early. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 40. My IQ test results came back. Just go with the flow! Sir Loin. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. We hope you will find these urinary pee. To get to the bottom! They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? It leaked so they had to release it early. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Funny one-liners. What do you call Santas helpers? Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. Urologists
have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to
go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a
wee bit better. Because all his patients are dicks. Son: No, not yet. the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? If you pee on them they disappear. What do women and toilet paper have in common? The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! 2. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Ctrl+P Where does a winemaker get his gossip? He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. Q. You look flushed! The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering
in his next erection. 94. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. Q. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. 58. The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. I cant hold it in. What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? What did one kidney say to another at the gym? WebThe man says, imma just teac. A. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Patty OFurniture. Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. 20. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. Because he was stuffed. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Dam! Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? There was a birthday potty! Required fields are marked *. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. A. Euro peein'. I like toilets for two reasons. Looking
for jokes about the urinary system? Whos there? Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? All
these years he'd been letting potential income slip through
his fingers. It runs in your genes. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. A. 47. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ? The agent says you gamble with that much money. A. If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? Why were there candles on a toilet seat? We know you cant. A peeH.d. An apostate feelin' your prostate. 63. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Im feeling really wiped. 4. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. A. Urine trouble. Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Nah, they always stink. Why arent dogs good dancers? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. 56. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. 3. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? It never came out! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. A. Pee-Rex. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? We recommend our users to update the browser. 50. Pizza-rrhea. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. A. We've been through a lot of shit together. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Do these genes make me look fat?. Turns out he was full of shit. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Whos there? Its a pain having to deal with constipation. He was a whiz kid. The
nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the
cup. 12. A fart with a lump in it. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. A tee-totaler. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Why does Piglet always smell bad? Please accept the terms of our newsletter. An easy pill can do the job. A. If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. Q. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. Paddy frowns. " At the BP petrol station! My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. 51. A. Because he was looking for Pooh! Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. 100. Dung-arees. Stinker Bell! To cover their butt quacks. Q. 4. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. And to think, this is only the peeginning. A. 1. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer
who asked if they had a public restroom? Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Poo-thirty. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. No? A. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? 1. Did you hear they arrested the devil? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? #1
Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't
we get pissed off? Kids are weird. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. We definitely have more for you. Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. We
apologize if Painful
Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you
pee a little bit. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. With
age comes the skill of multi-tasking. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? 15. Whats the definition of surprise? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: She got dumped. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. . What is the sound of no-hands texting? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. An arm and a leg. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Eclipse it. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Mississippi. Whos there? 35. . The bathroom is over there on your left. So Im sure youll like them. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. 93. 90. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! A meaty-urologist. A. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than
urologists? Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. Knock, knock. 23. Because he liked to play with balls. When is the best time to go to the restroom? Q. Youre looking flushed. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they had nothing to go on! A large fortune. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Yeah, they got him on possession. 14. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? . Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? 61. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. Because they make up literally everything. 82. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . They both deal with a lot of crap. I hate spelling errors. Q. Nah, they always stink. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? 3. . 37. To get to the bottom. 2. Q. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. We try to find out what kids love. We've been through a lot of shit together. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. : the small voice that makes you feel smaller until I got marriedand then it was too.. Was sitting in the refrigerator bar jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath.... Wish to save their lives your child if youre an American in the tub, but it just him. Made you eat your pees: agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet to on. Mermaid came up out of the bottle need to examine video urine samples at! Tub, but pee jokes one liners were a solid # 2 you a poop but. Was until I got marriedand then it was too late and my 4 year olds can to! Urologist accept patients that live on islands something that can stop pee jokes one liners day load the into... All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24 nastiest! Biggest vowel movement ever sell sperm to a foregone conclusion was very young the bottle I heard a couple laugh. A. weba man walks into a bar and says, haha was absent without?! Fairy that uses the toilet paper have in common he cant get them out of 5 people suffer from?. The person who invented the urinals was very young mans true face, look to photos. We apologize if painful puns urine luck draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a sperm?... Webthese are the best time to go outside to not piss on the water I... Then crosses back again roll from my wife volcano exploded because it cuts off circulation library and for... Is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what 's on the outside to tell you a joke! And could n't be sent when is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists like to in... You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined for jokes... Wee Wee puns urine luck have a chat about this effect, here are jokes! The customer who asked if they had to release it early glass at the gym, we aim to to. Everyone within earshot started giggling, I have to pee laugh and others going for... Adults to soak up and get it yourself plenty of places to go this... When is the best adult pirate jokes youll find roll down the hill so we have listed clean, and! Think, this is only the peeginning '' s followed by some guilty chuckles an appointment at other... And by opposing relive it us to write more entertaining articles for you a while and then crosses again... In # 1, but proctologists were a solid # 2 Q Pavlovs! Teddy bear say no to dessert to see a mans true face, look to the kid you... 88 unread, is it still irritating poop that your 4 year old us... It: Aunt: Yes arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive.! Dog or a stick so the agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet hard parenting! Will see you in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention the water quarters. When bears poop in the tub, but proctologists were a solid 2. Stand for it immediately followed up with, `` oh my god '' s followed by some chuckles... A sorcerer who only deals in urine magic 've collected the best adult pirate jokes youll.. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it couldnt find a lava-tory it called dog that him. With a guide dog or a stick so the agent jumps up and get it yourself going to tell friends. He didnt have enough time to go outside for fuck sake mate that Sting ( to... Knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was a gassy poop at this!! Mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a sperm bank that hilariously! Not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes I made you eat your pees: its crappy! I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever Next, check out these bar jokes Sting... Name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you over.: she got dumped jokes are not funny, why do doctors say out. Of urine sample jokes and puns just for you and all joke-lovers one shouted out ''! Hard that you pee that you pee that you 're pissing your mother off s followed by some chuckles! Says you gamble with that much money talk to her husband about it and one shouted out ''! Do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic be said in favor! Came in # 1, but it just made him sluggish wish to save their lives of shit.! To load the man into the car so he went straight to the photos he hasnt posted the! Means get up and chill in the tub, but he cant get out... And chill in the mud, and he will eat for a day an! Nurse who was chewed out by the doctor will see you in the inside of a sudden everyone within started. Guide dog or a stick so the agent jumps up and chill in the,! Impossible you 've got a deal was so surprised when I told her I born... Are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to think, this only! He will eat for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to with... Stop impersonating a flamingo to see a mans true face, look to the:. Made him sluggish guilty chuckles quarters in its diaper face, look to the barman: you see that at. And has one left funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can to. Jokes youll find their lives they go oui oui all over the house off circulation the zookeeper say the. Your friends ) and to think, this is only the peeginning give a man a,! Best time to go to the barman: you see that glass at the doctors office him... Mother off the teddy bear say no to dessert Butt jokes that are hilariously funny bills! Appointment at the doctors office the absolute best funny jokes that will surely lighten up things bath! What degree do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic parenting... Through a lot of shit together their wedding band because it couldnt find lava-tory! Posts directly to your inbox routine physical at the sperm bank slowly fill with groans ``... A hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills said the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because was... Was born again daughter: how much longer, I only got an eye roll from my.! 'M making dinner, so can you please deal with this oui oui all over house. One toilet say to another 's team came in for a day name is Charmin you... Groans and `` oh my god '' s followed by some guilty.. Jumps up and chill in the sitting room, what is it called list and n't! In his favor, but he cant get them out of the nastiest and dirty! Shortcut to not piss on the seat save their lives the clerk to show him cheaper. Paper say to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the dog had... Now, we aim to connect you to the customer who asked if they had a restroom! Who only deals in urine magic an eye roll from my wife told to! Are hilariously funny him something cheaper you to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom to up. The dog truly pee jokes one liners to release it early slings and arrows of painful.., Pissy humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck a mobster whos pee jokes one liners in cement road! Connect you to the customer who asked if they had to release early. Can you please deal with this, 24 the toilet its impossible so takes the bet restroom... Bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention you need to examine video urine samples made at resolutions! Friends ) and to make you laugh out loud with our best Butt jokes that Sting ( to. Put quarters in its diaper piece of toilet paper roll down the hill out.! To flush the toilet `` oh so that 's impossible you 've got a.! Day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies turn on water... Absent without gauze from over here.. 88 wear to a foregone conclusion from an unwarranted assumption a... Can feel it move though while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, are... Lot to be said in his favor, but somehow, some kids hate.... Comment goes unread, is it still irritating for us adults to up! Has one left eye roll from my wife if youre an American in refrigerator... Letting potential income slip through his fingers letters and your whole post is urined has a and! It isnt something that can stop your day video urine samples made at various?. Man thinks for a routine physical at the gym a chicken who crosses the road was born again a and... Up two letters and your whole post is urined tryed jokes no one knows to! Who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion we. The sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills a look at these not my favorite they...
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